Love responds to hurt by letting go

When people hurt us, we have two natural tendencies: remember and retaliate.

But how should you respond to the people who have hurt you? How do you handle all of those wounds and hurts that you’ve stockpiled in your memory?

You don’t repeat them; you delete them. Let it go. Forgive, and get on with your life.

When we get hurt, we tend to repeat that hurt in three ways: emotionally in our minds, relationally as a weapon, and practically by telling other people.

First, we repeat it by going over and over it in our mind. But resentment is self-destructive. It only perpetuates the pain. It never heals. It never solves anything. Whatever you think about most is what you move toward. If all you think about is how much you’ve been hurt in the past, you’ll only move toward the past. But if you focus on the future, you move toward the future. If you focus on potential, you move toward the potential.

Second, we repeat our hurt in relationships. We use it as wedges and weapons. “Remember when you did that?” “But you did this!”

Nagging doesn’t work.

Third, we repeat our hurt by telling it to other people. It’s called gossip!

Gossip is pure and simple ego — trying to make ourselves look and feel better. Every time you share gossip, you are being prideful.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn’t repeat a wound so that it turns into resentment or gossip or pride. Love responds to hurt by letting it go.

c/o Rick Warren