Support, Attitude, and Sabotage; Are You Missing The Connection…

Lets talk support and sabotage!

You are sitting at the kitchen table picking at your chicken breast. You look miserable. You have negative thoughts running through your head and you are just counting the minutes of when this meal will be over. It’s not like chicken breast is bad. In fact you love your food Monday through Friday afternoon. But tonight is Pizza Friday for the family, followed by ice cream. Oh well, life sucks. Fast forward to Saturday afternoon. After a day of toting your cooler around town while shopping with the family, it is time for the BBQ at your friends’ house. Of course you brought your own food. Your friends know you by now, even if they don’t “get it”. You’re looking around at all of your friends enjoying a beer and a cheeseburger, and you swear they rub it in your face on purpose; whatever.

Sunday brunch follows and you order your usual. Egg whites and Oatmeal. Everyone else is eating pancakes. It’s just so infuriating right?

Sunday afternoon you get in a fight with your significant other. You feel like you are alone. Your friends don’t want to hang out with you, and your husband thinks your diet sucks.

……

Well you probably thought this was going to be a post about balance and that you should have just eaten the pizza, or tossed the bun on your cheeseburger so it wasn’t a complete loss. You could have at least had some orange juice and a few bites of french toast at brunch right?
That isn’t what this post is about. This post is about support.
Some of my clients feel like they have no support from their friends or family. It makes it very difficult to be successful when everyone is constantly telling you how much it sucks that you’re dieting. Is it ok to have a piece of pizza sometimes? Of course it is. But if you actually want to do anything outside of spinning your wheels there has to be some pretty significant sacrifices. That means eating all of your own food, and saying no to the goodies most of the time.

But how do you get the best of both worlds? How do you get those around you to get off your case and to quit making you feel bad? Well you start by doing it yourself! Lets be honest here. Is this really about your diet, or is it about your ATTITUDE toward your diet? I can guarantee you that any friend, family member, or spouse worth their salt, would rather you not reach your goal than watch you be miserable trying to achieve it. Read that again. They likely aren’t sabotaging you on purpose; they are trying to save you from misery. No one that loves you, wants to see you miserable. How much fun are you to be around on Friday pizza night? Are you making it hard for them to enjoy their dinner? Do they have to feel guilty when they eat it around you, or apologize to you because you “can’t” have it? I bet your kids couldn’t care less about whether you eat pizza or chicken, but I assure you they care if you are happy about it. The extra belly roll is A-OK with them. In fact they didn’t even notice it until you pointed it out.
This may come as a complete shock to you, and it may be a hard pill to swallow, but not everyone shares your fitness goals! They may have equally important and lofty goals of their own. I have found that for the most part, if you don’t project your goals onto the ones you love, and you enjoy the process, you will be supported. Are there exceptions? Sure, but that is a bigger problem and likely has nothing to do with your diet. Happiness is contagious. If you are happy in your life, the ones that care for you will likely share in that happiness for you.
You won’t always have a smile on your face. Fitness goals, just like anything else worth having takes work and sacrifice. There are times you have to put your head down and just grind it out. It isn’t always easy or fun. The majority of the time though, it should be! If it isn’t, you may want to ask yourself if they are the right goals for you.

This isn’t movement to support a chicken breast and asparagus diet. Fun foods can fit into your plan. That being said, is it really that upsetting to order a diet soda or sparkling water when you go out with your friends for happy hour when it isn’t goal supporting to participate?

It always makes me sad to hear stories from clients that feel unsupported. There will always be saboteurs and negative people that want you to fail. That is insecurity and these people are not whom this post is about. Implement sacrifice over suffering into your lifestyle and see if the shift in attitude changes how you are perceived. You may find yourself inspiring others instead of alienating them.