Lean Bodies - Noel Clark

Ok so I emailed Erik this morning with a confessional of sorts.  So I am going to share it here.  Again these aren’t fun things for me to share or talk about but I am hoping that it is at least a tiny bit helpful to someone :)  As some of you know I have been dieting and prepping for shows since January.  That is 6months with really no break.  The last break I was suppose to take was right after Jr USAs and freaked out on Erik and ended up not really doing it.  So about three weeks out from Jr Nationals…I tried hard to amp up for my workouts and talk myself into being psyched for the training and the diet.  It just wasn’t happening.  I was spent.  I hated the gym.  I complied but hated it.  I was happy with my confidence and my posing was better at Jr Nationals…but I know that I can get my body better.  I just think my heart wasn’t in it at that point.  So now that show is over and Erik says….take a week off from the gym….here are some macros to go by..just do what you want.  Meaning go to the gym or don’t …go running like you always want to and can’t.  I thought..yeah right. I am sooooo going to the gym. lololol.  Monday post comp comes and I have no interest in going to the gym.  I end up going but only to ride the bike and read.  It was great.  Same thing Tuesday and Wednesday too……No lifting, nothing strenuous…no HIIT no nothing.  Thursday and Friday look the same.  I am going to go for a nice long run today and tomorrow too.  BUT NO LIFTING. It feels AWESOME.  usually when I do something like this I tend to feel guilty.  But I don’t now.  It is really been a much needed break.  Now for the bad part –my diet has been Absolutely atrocious.  I told Erik and he says…so you haven’t been structured…do you really think that you have been eating at maintenance?  i wish someone was sitting next to me when I got that email back.  I busted out laughing because I am thinking…maintenance…holy cow….i think probably over maintenance.  But again, while I was doing this…it wasn’t like binging.  I would eat great during the day and then eat whatever I felt like at night…but what I felt like eating was SUPER SUPER BAD.  As Erik says–calorically dense food..uh yep…that is a very nice way to put it Lets see, I have had candy, then some candy, and then a little bit of candy LOL  I had baked chips and even pizza–which I don’t even really like (right now I am getting smacked by Erik).  I never felt bad though and that would have been the case before…that is what would prevent me from doing it…that whole guilt feeling.  Well, I woke up this morning feeling GROSS.  That is what prompted the email to Erik.  The first thing I say to him is “DO NOT ASK ME TO WEIGH MYSELF BECAUSE I WILL NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DO IT!!!”  but I just felt I needed to clue him in on what i had been feeling and doing to myself lol.  I think from here we will start back at the gym on Monday…which i can’t tell you how jacked I am to go back, full tilt.  I will probably be on Maintenance for one more week and then Erik and I are going to get me L-E-A-N.  You guys will see a huge change.  I am going to go into this last National show with a different attitude altogether.  I feel good.  And more importantly I feel ready.  It is nice to feel this way again.  Wish me luck!!!!

Related posts:

1. Post Contest Water retention–the real deal! This past week has been very hard for me mentally. ...
2. Getting Back in the Groove Yesterday was my first day back in the gym.  It...
3. Insanity That is the only thing that can explain the way...
4. Leaving Maintenance…yay Ok I officially hate maintenance.  I was thinking about how...
5. Going low again I got my oats yesterday :)  They never tasted so...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 23rd, 2007 at 11:47 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.