1. Here's a good one for ya:

Talked with trainer by text yesterday and he called me this morning to see how i was holding up. My diet changed as of today and he told me i MUST get the 2 hours of cardio in ... in addition, I have 15 minutes of step-ups ... to work the booty

Where to begin? Do you realize my keyboard has dents from typing about these subjects? 15 minutes of step ups to work the booty? Who is this trainer? They belong in another industry. So what is the 15 minutes of step ups going to do to 'the booty'? Is it spot reduction cardio? Sure, of course that works. Muscles grow or they shrink. Or I guess a third option is they stay the same. I'll assume that since this person is dieting (the 2 hours of cardio per day gives it away), that the step ups are not being done to 'build the booty'. So I take that's to mean they're being done to strip off booty fat? If someone ever tells you to do this - you need to immediately start laughing hysterically at them. And then call them an idiot. 2. How about this one?

I recently started talking to a girl I went to high school with me and she has hired a trainer for the first time to do a figure competition (she's done a few in the past apparently). She tried to "give me some pointers" from her trainer (mind you I never asked, she just offered because I'm a "newbie"). She thinks her trainer is awesome because he "really gets into her muscles" by having her do bodyweight lunges for about an hour. No joke. And SS cardio not to be done above 60% max HR. MAN I am SOOO glad I am working with you Erik.

Ok, you thought the first one was bad - and she was only doing 15 minutes of step ups. This poor girl is getting AN HOUR of lunges. You know, to get really deep into those muscles. Can these trainers even keep a straight face when they say this? Let's not forget - how incredibly boring would 60 minutes of alternating lunges be? Oh and don't go past 60% MHR - because if you do, you'll burn NO FAT. Let's bow down to the fat-burning zone. Oh wait, one more thing - make sure it's done fasted too. 3. This comes from the same source as the last point.

The same girl I talked about in my last biweekly gave me a few more pearls of wisdom the other day. First, her diet sucks. She gets like 1 tbsp of peanut butter, and lean steak every third day, but has to eat egg whites/chix/veggies/oatmeal for the rest of her diet. Poor girl also has no salt, dairy, fruit. She told me to watch the fruit and yogurt because "They have a lot of sugars in them that will keep you from getting the leanest you can." Oh and no surprise she has 2x day cardio.

Awesome! She gets four different foods on her diet. FOUR!! Does anyone want to bet what's going to happen the day after the contest? FOUR FOODS!! Oh no! Fruit keeps you fat! Yeah, it's the fruit that keeps people from getting lean. How much fruit would you have to eat for that to happen? Sure, a piece or two of fruit is going to be the one thing that keeps you from the stage. Does this even sound logical? Got any more for me? Let me hear it in the comments.

Posted Oct 23, 2008 by Erik Ledin.
This entry is filed under Contest Prep and Rants.